If I had to sum up 2023 in a word… resilience would be it.
If I had to put it into a sentence: The year of fully meeting myself.
No more avoiding. Hiding. Running away. Playing small. No short cuts!
Everywhere I looked, there I was. And I didn’t always like it. It wasn’t the 2023 I wanted, but it was the one I needed.
In order to outgrow my self sabotage & my escapism. To stop fantasizing; isolating and hiding from my destiny. To actually get serious about living the dream, I needed to let every ounce of untruth & misalignment decompose & be transformed into lucid awareness.
2023 taught me how to take full self responsibility *as painful as it was at times*. My spiritual ego took a couple beatdowns from God.. through the ways the circumstances in my life unfolded, every vision, intention & idea that was not grounded in this earthly realm dissolved in front of my eyes.
Through this slow gradual painful process of ego transformation, I had to make peace with the fact that I am a human, in a body; and to start working within my limitations, instead of jumping too far and fast beyond them. My 20s were full of Quantum Leaps that my nervous system could not hold. I was leaping towards my infinite potential, but skipping the foundations.
So, as the year turns over & simultaneously I enter a new decade of *30*, I am experiencing a monumental changing of the tides, a complete reconstruction of the way I relate to myself and my dharma in the foundations, embracing my humanness and loving it closely, rather than trying to transcend beyond it.
2023 brought with it new heights of possibility along with new depths of despair. A sense of helplessness I’d never really met before.
Can you imagine how disorienting that would be?
The gates of heaven lied open before me, all my wildest dreams within reach… but the 5D holographic projection had to crumble, so I could meet the real truth in the 3D instead.
Yes I am the Creator, capable of living my dreams; my own personal heaven on earth.
But I am on God’s timing. & nothing is promised, even when prophesied. We’ve gotta work for it, continuously.
Manifestation is about materialization, after all..
Turns out things work much slower in the 3D than my higher self would like to have me believe..
& the work is truly endless…
All the hard inner work over the last few years was finally starting to pay off in the physical this last year:
Many glimpses of epic creative potential
Experiences of unity with my inner circle
Seemingly aligned collaborations ready to expand
The future looked so bright, and I was living it in real time ~ in the present moment
At times it felt like ecstasy and rapture
“All the dreams coming true !!”
“Infinite potential!”
“It’s all happening!!”
But no.. because even amidst all the pieces of my life aligning and falling into place
I’ve also experienced some of the deepest and hardest breakdowns this last year
My heart broke over and over again
My trust failed me
My betrayal wounds stabbed with knives
Me accidentally stabbing others wounds with knives as well,
out of self protection and self preservation
Everything I had been working towards crumbled, so I could start again..
This time with healthy foundations
Learning how to navigate life as a fully independent woman
So many mistakes were made that made it look like… all is lost
I felt like a fool
How silly was I?
To believe everything was so close to working out perfectly
I can say for the first time after 10 years on the spiritual awakening path, in 2023 my faith actually faltered
But looking back at it, no matter how painful and earth shattering it was
2023 was the year I actually met myself.
Fully. As the Creator. The ONLY ONE who is responsible for my life. The ONLY ONE that can continuously shine the light upon my path of destiny.
I stopped externalizing love and purpose.
I had no choice but to anchor down so deeply in my self. As the only one that can. I am the one I’ve been waiting for.
Even though projects seemingly “failed” & relationships “separated”, I gained instead a truer understanding of what it means to be in relation with life itself
To relate to others from a place of first being in authentic connection with myself. Ditching the survival instincts and the codependency.
Replacing it with sovereignty and a deeper respect for money.
So although 2023 confused me beyond my wits, it was the ultimate test of faith both in myself and in the something greater that guides me.
I enter 2024 ready to give up all of my fears on the altar of Love. To serve the awakening by stepping fully into my purpose & soul service.
I think it’s part of the deal that I made with the Divine, when I agreed to incarnate during these changing times. That I would experience it All in extremes. Uniting within me Heaven on Earth. But in order to carve this path, I needed first to agree to be here. Fully. In the material. To embrace this human experience with everything it comes with, whole heartedly.
So, through despair and helplessness, I met my true strength.
& I learned what it means to actually surrender
And give myself over to the Divine Plan.
Heaven on Earth, baby.
Here we go.
Resilience.
In some of the darkest days on the planet, may we keep choosing the light & switching it on for each other. 💡